WHATEVER

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Whatever

#cat #animal #white #bored #boring #exhausted #annoyed #hypnotized #animals #color #emotion #feature

New jokes

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.