STRANGE CAT

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Strange cat

#cat #cats #animal #white #weird #play #playing #raise paw #magic #funny #funny cat #strange #dance #dancing #snow #crazy #winter #skiing #travel #hypnotized #hill #mountain #animals #color #feature #activities #sports #winter #emotion #nature

New jokes

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.