Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.