Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.